A Spider Got Into My Mom’s Underpants

Good morning.

In earlier posts, I have talked about our little block house on the Bottom Road and how the mice gnawed on the walls every single night.  I’m sure we had other creatures in the house but I don’t remember seeing anything other than the mice.  I do, however, remember stepping on the bumble bee and it stinging my foot.  Now, that was not fun; my foot swelled to about twice its size and I could not get a shoe on that foot for days.

Our little block house did not have a bathroom so while Cheryl and I were allowed to do our thing in the chamber pot, my mom and dad had to walk up the hill behind the house to the outhouse.  Behind the outhouse were fields; some of them had crops but mostly it was just tall grass and weeds back there.  Mom used to laugh about taking a switch with lots of leaves and whipping the little grass snakes when she saw them in the yard.  Boy, they would take off through the tall sc0229f9bfgrass and you could see it swaying back and forth as they ran for the hills.

So, one day my mom had to do her thing and she walked up to the outhouse.  She was in there a few minutes when she came screaming out of the outhouse with her pants down around her knees.  Cheryl and I were playing in the yard when we saw and heard the big commotion which scared us half to death.

Now, you have to remember we were out in the country and even though we had neighbors, no one could see her while she was streaking down the back yard.

Anyway, she got to the house and totally striped down.  When she finally calmed down enough to talk, she said that when she got ready to pull up her pants, she looked down and saw this huge field spider sitting in the crotch of her underwear. And, just like every other woman in this world, she went into a panic mode.

The funny thing was that by the time she ran out of the outhouse and down the hill to our house, the spider had taken off and was most likely in the back of the field.  He probably had never heard screeching like that before and didn’t want to hear that again.

I can tell ya the next time she went up there to the outhouse, she had her eyes peeled for all eight-legged creatures but they stayed away from her after that.

See ya next Wednesday.